Mirror

I Corinthians 13:12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. NLT

These are lyrics to a song I wrote many years ago.  I knew they were important to me then.  It was a time when my identity with Jesus was just becoming clear to me and I was so aware, even embarrassed, about what I didn’t know.  All these years later, events have turned those old words into a treasure to remind me God is still “looking” out for me.  I am a new widow.  Jesus has provided an explosion of love through family and friends to help me see myself in this puzzling new role.  There is a new reality in that mirror that is critical for me to see right now.

In the mirror I see
Two eyes looking back at me.
Two eyes trying to see
A picture of what I can be.

That is the “flesh” part of life.  I’m trying to see a “picture of what I can be” without Ken in that mirror but my reflection is clouded with tears…thank God the song goes on…

Won’t you picture God for me my friend?
Won’t you be my mirror when I pretend?
Won’t you help me to see?

There truly is something more than “flesh.”  There is a Spirit of Life that knows I can’t see myself clearly since the death of my husband.  I need someone to “help me to see.”  That is very real right now.  In the midst of unmeasurable pain and grief I have family and friends who are here when my tears distort almost everything I see.  Their physical help, prayers and tenderness are helping me begin to glimpse a new “picture of what I can be.”  I may never remember all they’ve said and done but I will certainly never forget their willingness to “picture God for me,” sometimes unbeknownst to them.  They are showing me the Spirit of Life that assures me there is enough strength, even in grief, to honor the two most important men in my life, Jesus and my husband Ken.” I’ve spoken that phrase many times in the last few days.  One friend responded with “one gave His life FOR you and one gave his life TO you.”  That’s a God-given truth I can “live” with.  Alleluia!